Gamer News

nintendo,e3,video games,sonic mercury

Nintendo will not be holding a traditional conference at E3 for the second year in a row. Instead Nintendo is opting for a similar approach to last year’s E3. Nintendo will have a presence at E3 showing off new software and hardware on the showroom floor but instead of the traditional conference they will broadcast an E3 specific online special called the “Nintendo Digital Event.” Along with the “Digital Event” Nintendo will be broadcasting live all 3 days from E3 from the “Nintendo Treehouse.” Nintendo will also be holding a Super Smash Bros Tournament during E3 among 16 high skilled players. Like last year, Nintendo will again have a presence in Best Buys across the country. This year the new Smash Bros will be playable on the Wii U for fans to try at participating Best Buys nationally.

I think the original reasoning for Nintendo to take this approach last year had a lot to do with the extreme hype and momentum Sony and Microsoft were carrying into last year’s E3. It also had to do with the fact that the Wii U was tanking and overall Nintendo hardware sales were down. Opting out of a traditional conference felt like Nintendo bowing out of the ring to let Sony and Microsoft duke it out for console supremacy, and to an extant that is what happened. On the other hand this new approach by Nintendo is perhaps more clever than credited. The Wii U is still tanking. Even after Nintendo severely cut yearly sales expectations the Wii U still failed to meet the quota. It’s no secret that while the Nintendo DS is still selling well, Nintendo as a whole is hemorrhaging money.

Foregoing the traditional conference saves Nintendo money. By having a live Nintendo specific channel in the “Nintendo Treehouse,” Nintendo has guaranteed coverage of everything it wants to show off during the entirety of E3. They don’t have to rely on third party outlets like IGN or Rev3Games to provide coverage on their products. This way Nintendo can ensure anything and everything they want to show off will get full coverage. The downside is that it is largely possible the only people who will tune in to the “Nintendo Treehouse” are the hardcore Nintendo fans, people who already own the Wii U, and therefore a limited audience with limited potential to grow the console install base. Showcasing a new game at local Best Buys has more potential to reach a larger audience and is a cool way to try to share the E3 experience with people who may never get to go to the actual expo.

In the end Nintendo does have fairly deep pockets so it is unlikely they will be going anywhere soon. Will this new approach to E3 payoff in the long run? If nothing else at least Nintendo is making headlines by changing it up. I mean I wrote this post right here about it. There was a rumor circulating recently that Nintendo might unveil a new console this year and just cut their losses entirely with the Wii U. I find this really hard to believe as research and development for a new console is really expensive and Nintendo is no stranger to struggling hardware. Outside of the Wii, the N64 and the Gamecube both had modest install bases compared to their competitors. E3 2014 starts June 10th this year and thus another chapter in gaming is only a month away. Where Nintendo’s story goes from there is anyone’s guess.

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

 

Gamer News

Wolfenstein The New Order,Gamer News, Sonic Mercury,Z3ROTH3RT33N

In my last post about Wolfenstein: The New Order I had mentioned that some stealth elements would be present in the gameplay. Yesterday a new YouTube trailer was released on Bethesda Softworks official page and it sheds some light on just how stealth plays into Wolfenstein. The trailer subtitled Stealth Vs. Mayhem shows two alternate ways of approaching the same level. From the trailer it appears that stealth is actually quite viable and it appears more involved than previously believed. Using silencers and picking locks, protagonist B.J. Blazkowicz quietly progresses, dispatching unsuspecting enemies along the way. The mayhem approach is pretty self explanatory. Go in high profile with guns blazing, which admittedly looks like a lot of fun and probably the way I would play the game. A few high powered weapons are shown off as well as the ability to duel wield different weapons. Let’s be honest though hearing me describe this stuff isn’t nearly as fun as watching it for yourself so here is the link to Bethesda’s Official YouTube page so you can check it out for yourself. I would say the gameplay trailer is probably NSFW as it is pretty violent. You can read the disclaimer at the beginning of the video and decide for yourself. Wolfenstein is slated for a May 20th release for PS3, PS4, XBOX 360, XBOX One as well as on the PC and of course if you pre-order it you will be given access to the DOOM beta. For more on Wolfenstein: The New Order and games like it subscribe to Sonic Mercury’s mailing list at the bottom of the page.

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

 

Pat’s Metal Reviews

Avenged Sevenfold, Protest the Hero,Sonic Mercury,The GessNation

Check out the newest episode of Pat’s Metal Reviews and don’t be afraid to like and subscribe to his YouTube channel. Join the GessNation dammit! Do it! Do it now!! In his latest installment Pat holds his first ever grudge match. Avenged Sevenfold Vs. Protest the Hero. Pat gives an in depth breakdown of each band and their newest album with side by side comparisons. Honest opinions from a true metal head packaged in an entertaining show for your enjoyment. So click the link here, Avenged Sevenfold Vs. Protest the Hero, to see how these two bands fare. Sit back relax and put your horns up its time for Metal!!!

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

For more from Pat check out his YouTube Channel The GessNation or his Facebook page The Shred Shack

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

 

Gamer News

DOOM 4, New DOOM

No there is not a DOOM Wolfenstein hybrid game coming out soon but there is a connection.  Both titles are being published by Bethesda Softworks and if you pre-order Wolfenstein The New Order before May 20th you will gain access to the DOOM beta. May 20th is the date of the U.S. release. DOOM originally called DOOM 4 was announced in 2008 and has had a rocky development cycle with rumors indicating that a version of the game was completely scrapped in 2011. John Carmack former head of iD Software the developer of DOOM was the one who made the original announcement for this new DOOM game back in 2008 and recently left iD this past November to work exclusively at Oculus VR. It is also of note that iD Software had made it public that development on all other projects had been put on hold so the team could concentrate solely on finishing DOOM.

 

Wolfenstein The New Order once again finds series protagonist William “B.J.” Blazkowicz fighting against Nazi foes. Only this time “B.J.” wakes up in the 1960’s in a world where the Nazi’s won WWII. The New Order promises old school fps game play with plenty of nods to the original source material including familiar enemies and weapons as well as hidden pathways. Stealth elements have been added. Taking place in an alternate timeline and being a Wolfenstein game bizarre science fiction weapons and enemies will also be present. Here is a link to the gameplay trailer on the Bethesda Softworks YouTube homepage so that you can take a look for yourself. (NSFW Violence and Language) You can decide if you think it is worth it to pre-order Wolfenstein The New Order just to get some early hands on time with the new DOOM.

 

Personally I am excited to play both Wolfenstein and the new DOOM. Being someone who grew up with the original titles I think such storied franchises deserve a spot at the top again. I will say that the last title I played by iD Software Rage blew me away. It had its flaws. The story and characters could have been fleshed out a lot more. The loading times were a bit long and the overall game was way too short for me, mostly because I was having way too much fun. Overall though I thought the graphics were absolutely stunning. The weapons customization, in game physics and enemy AI made for highly entertaining and addictive game play. The character designs were highly detailed and I really enjoyed traversing the wasteland in custom vehicles it really added to the atmosphere of the world.

 

Rage came out 3 years ago and despite the previously mentioned flaws it still sets the bar pretty high. I’m very excited to see what a new iD Software game looks and plays like post Rage. On that same note I’m hesitant to get my hopes up. There have been many cases of long gestating games released in the last few years that have been sub par to say the least. So it is with guarded anticipation that I look forward to playing the newest entry in the DOOM series. Needless to say my fingers are crossed. Wolfenstein The New Order will be available on PS3, PS4, XBOX 360 and XBOX One.

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

 

Horror News

Survival Horror

A new gameplay trailer for The Evil Within has surfaced. The trailer shows off many new areas including a forest suggesting the world for this new survival horror title may be more diverse then has been shown previously. Up until now The Evil Within appeared to take place all inside one building but it is now apparent that this is not the case. There is also a scene showing the main character walking towards a barn through a field of surreal sunflowers suggesting that our journey through the game may feature lapses in sanity. Many different creatures, monsters and other nasties can be seen as well.

 

The Evil Within is being developed by Bethesda Softworks and directed by Shinji Mikami the creator of the original Resident Evil Games. Mr. Mikami has previously stated that he was unhappy with the current state of survival horror games and began creation of The Evil Within with the intent of bringing the genre back to its roots. Mr. Mikami has also stated this will be the last game that he directs. According to the new trailer the release date for The Evil Within will be August 26th 2014. As this trailer was created for this weekend’s Pax East conference in Boston I think it is safe to assume this is the U.S. release date. It was speculated The Evil Within could potentially have been in development until 2015 so it is exciting to know we will be able to get our hands on this one sooner than later. Here is the link to the new trailer via the official Bethesda YouTube channel. The Evil Within. (NSFW – Violence and Blood)

 

I will say I definitely get an old-school Resident Evil vibe from the atmosphere in this trailer. The good news is we will only have to wait a few months to find out if this new title makes good on the promise of old-school survival horror. For more on The Evil Within and games like it subscribe to SonicMercury.com’s emailing list at the bottom of the page and subscribe to the links provided at the end of this article for even more updates.

 

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

Gamer News

Grand Theft Auto Online

Rockstar has announced features for its upcoming spring update for Grand Theft Auto V Online. The first part of the update should be available next week according to Rockstar’s online social club. This will be a capture creator which will allow players to make their own custom capture missions. Players will be given options to choose whatever weapons, pick-ups, and other undefined variables as you see fit in these custom missions.

 

Also slated for spring is the High Life update. This update does not yet have specified release date but it promises more options for high end apartments. The High Life update also promises the ability for GTA V Online players to own 2 properties now complete with a second garage. Some new clothing items will come with the update as well as the Bullpup Rifle, Dinka Thrust motorcycle and 3 new high-end cars including the super class Pegassi Zentorno. But the most interesting part of this update is something called the Mental State player statistic. The Mental State statistic will allow players to see just how safe they really are around the players joining them in their online sessions.

 

Finally the long awaited heists are being promised in the spring updates for GTA Online. You will be able to team up with Crew members or other mercenaries on your mission to commit simulated grand larceny. Unfortunately there are still no specific dates so hopefully we see this date sooner than later. More holiday updates are promised to come for GTA Online and some story mode DLC is on the way for later this year.

 

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

 

 

 

 

Gamer News

Oculus Rift, Sony's Project Morphues
Sony's Project Morpheus
Sony’s Project Morpheus: Image Courtesy of IGN

Sony has indeed been working on a Virtual Reality headset for the PS4. Titled Project Morpheus, I’m guessing a reference to the Matrix character of the same name, the new hardware was unveiled at this years Game Developers Conference or GDC. Amongst excitement for the announcement of this new hardware there have been several stories related to virtual reality unfolding in recent weeks.

 

First and foremost the acquisition of what logically would be the biggest competitor of Project Morpheus, the Oculus Rift was bought by Facebook for 2 billion dollars. A very impressive feat considering the Oculus Rift began inception as a kickstarter campaign. However pillars within the gaming community haven’t been so enthralled. The fear that this hardware with unknown potential to revolutionize gaming as we know it will now instead be reduced to a tool for collecting consumer information on people under the guise of “social networking” is very real.

The Oculus Rift sold to Facebook for $2 Billion
The Oculus Rift sold to Facebook for $2 Billion

The creator of the popular sandbox game Minecraft, Markus “Notch” Persson immediately cancelled development on a version of Minecraft for the Oculus Rift as soon as the deal with Facebook went through. Notch was quoted on twitter as saying “I just cancelled the deal. Facebook creeps me out.” Many others in the gaming community have expressed similar concerns. Most of the people who have already received development kits for the Oculus Rift are PC developers/enthusiasts who intended the device for gaming experiences.

 

Adam Sessler of Rev3Games made some good points on the future of virtual reality gaming as a whole. He said developing software specifically for hardware like the Oculus Rift will be expensive, especially early on while developers learn how the hardware works. The other thing to consider is at this moment both the Oculus Rift and Sony’s Project Morpheus are not available to public consumers. The starting price point of such hardware is as of now unknown and the relative number of people who can afford, let alone want a virtual reality headset is unknown. With all of that in mind it must be understood that developing full-fledged AAA titles for a virtual reality headset could still be many years down the line if ever.

 

For companies to even consider developing a full-fledged title to utilize virtual reality hardware the install base will have to be pretty high. Otherwise the effort simply isn’t cost effective. Instead Adam Sessler suggested that we should adjust our expectations of what virtual reality as a whole will be. It is more likely we will see applications made by smaller development teams with the goal of emphasizing different experiences, like exploration or  something like skydiving. There is also interest in virtual reality for aid in scientific and medical research as well.

 

Palmer Luckey the creator of the Oculus Rift assures fans that Facebook was the best choice for purchasing the rights to his hardware. Stating that if he had sold to Apple or Microsoft they would have gutted his company and used whatever parts they saw fit to appease their own agendas. Luckey says that Facebook has promised to leave his team intact and allow them the freedom they need to develop the Oculus Rift appropriately for consumers.

 

Be it Facebook’s Oculus Rift or Sony’s Project Morpheus it seems the age of virtual reality is upon us. The applications for gaming and otherwise seem quite promising. YouTube is already full of people who have modified current games to work on virtual reality hardware. To reference Morpheus from the first Matrix movie we will have to see if people take the blue pill and “wake up as if nothing has happened” or “take the red pill and see how far the rabbit hole goes.”

 

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gamer News

VR Headset for PS4, Sony, PS4, console wars, sonicmercury,com

The Game Developers Conference or GDC begins March 17th in San Francisco. Surely there will be all kinds of fresh video game related news to report on. In the meantime I would like to shine light on a rumor floating around from multiple sources in the cyberspace right now regarding virtual reality. Of course the concept of virtual reality is nothing new having been the inspiration for hardware manufacturers and fictional mediums for many years. However the hype died down after a surge of interest in the late nineties as the tech just couldn’t meet expectations.

 

Over the last few years there has been a resurgence of interest in virtual reality. This resurgence was culminated by the emergence of the VR headset prototype the Oculus Rift. The hardware though flawed and a bit buggy was optimistically reviewed by many gaming enthusiasts and industry vets alike stating that with fine tuning, the Oculus Rift experience could potentially become a viable platform for exciting new applications for gaming and other software.

 

Current rumors suggest that Sony plans to enter the virtual reality arena. Supposedly not only has Sony been developing a virtual reality headset for some time now but multiple sources including Forbes, IGN and Gamespot suggest this new piece of hardware will be unveiled at this year’s GDC. Furthermore the Sony VR headset is said to be designed for use with the PS4 and that some developers have already had dev-kits for the new hardware for over a year now.

 

Recently I was able to have a hands on experience with the Oculus Rift VR headset playing a modified version of Slender. The graphics weren’t the best but the headset combined with a pair of headphones were very effective in conveying an interactive experience. Even in a crowded room it was really easy to become completely engrossed in the game. It actually was almost too easy to become entranced in the game and forget my surroundings. As someone who is always curious about new gaming hardware I found the immersion level of the Oculus Rift fairly impressive.

 

Sony’s rumored VR headset is supposedly superior to the Oculus Rift hardware. With GDC less than a week away hopefully some facts will emerge and we can shed some light on the truth behind these rumors soon. For more on this story and other gaming news subscribe to Sonic Mercury’s mailing list at the bottom of the page.

 

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

Video Game News

Its not looking good for the XBOX One in Europe right now.  The PS4 is currently outselling Microsoft’s newest console at a rate of about 3:1. Currently sales for the XBOX One are only slightly higher than that of the Wii U in Europe. To give you a little perspective here are some recent sales numbers based on weekly hardware comparison charts from VGChartz.com. The Wii U and the XBOX One are both averaging around 11 to 13 thousand units sold per week. Meanwhile the PS4 is averaging sales around 60 thousand units per week.

 

To add insult to injury the PS3 has been outselling the XBOX One in Europe since early December. Granted recent numbers show the PS3 only outselling the XBOX One by a small margin but anyway you do the math it doesn’t bode well when your brand new next gen console is struggling against the fledgling Wii U and actually being outsold by another console that is going on 8 years old.

 

Finally just to bring the story home sales figures for the month of February indicate PS4 sales in the US outselling the XBOX One 2:1. Which is a fairly significant reveal considering the US is Microsoft’s home market.

 

Just as a side note the most anticipated title for the XBOX One Titanfall is slated to release globally next week and should potentially help sales of the new console. Titanfall was the highlight for XBOX One at last years E3 conference. Developer Respawn opted to forgo a single player mode to concentrate on a rich mutliplayer experience incorporating single player elements such as a plot and NPC’s. [ Non Playable Characters ] Certainly not the first video game to be exclusively online it is interesting to note that both publisher EA and developer Respawn have recently announced that the game will not be made available in the South African region due to a supposedly poor internet infrastructure.

 

Regardless of how big a chunk the South African region makes up for XBOX One sales Microsoft could certainly use all the help it can get to gain some traction against the PS4. The final thing to note about Titanfall is that it will also be available on PC which certainly will cut into potential XBOX One sales as it is far cheaper to buy a computer game than an entire console plus a brand new game. Right now worldwide sales of the PS4 have surpassed 6 million consoles and over 13.7 million games. Microsoft has not released recent sales numbers but it is estimated they have shipped about 3.5 million consoles worldwide.

 

For upcoming news on the console wars and other video game news subscribe to the SonicMercury.com mailing list at the bottom of the page.

 

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

Video Game Spotlight

It has been over 6 months since the release of the critically acclaimed epic The Last Of Us. Many including myself have heralded it has a masterpiece of modern day gaming and story telling. Numerous nominations and game of the year awards aside and a prequel DLC on the horizon I believe enough time has passed for a proper retrospective. Now that the initial gloss has had time to wear off and the hype time to die down we can take a more grounded look back at The Last of Us and its impact.

 

I have seen many great games come and go, bosses defeated, puzzles solved, princesses rescued and worlds saved. Final Fantasy 7 springs to mind. It was a high water mark for its era of gaming. It was like nothing I had ever seen before or thought was possible in a video game. I still remember the first time I saw those cut scenes. Cloud and his friends stealing futuristic vehicles and driving them straight out the side of a sky scraper landing on a nearby highway fleeing into the night. I remember watching Sephiroth disappear menacingly as he walked into a wall of flames. The disturbing experiments revolving around Jenova and of course the grim fate of Aerith. These are moments in a game I played 17 years ago that still stick with me. It was an epic that pushed the boundaries of what was possible within the realm of video game storytelling. Final Fantasy 7 created a story built on characters that have gone on to become video game legend. To this day I still talk to people who wish that the Final Fantasy series was still about Cloud and his friends and to be fair the only Final Fantasy game I have played all the way through since FF7 was Crisis Core the prequel to FF7 because it involved the characters I cared about from the original game.

 

Seventeen Years from now will The Last Of Us be as fondly remembered? Will the game share similar relevancy among the gaming community? That is a tough question to answer. If FF7 is the example of how a video game can transcend peoples preconceptions and expectations of what a video game experience can be than TLOU is the evolution of that example. Combining engaging gameplay mechanics with fascinating characters, a well realized highly detailed world and a story of substance you can not help but become immersed in the world of TLOU and become invested in Ellie and Joel’s journey. I don’t want to get too off topic but I think part of why TLOU won so many game of the year awards over Bioshock: Infinite is because the characters actions within the setting matched the tone of the story better. Bioshock’s world is beautifully rendered but it is also highly stylized and I think contrasted with the extreme violence of the protagonist in Bioshock the overall experience suffers for it. That is not saying that the story of Bioshock: Infinite is any less profound or the core gameplay any worse than TLOU but I wonder what the game would have been like had they gone for a slightly less stylized presentation.

 

A major part of what makes TLOU so unique is its humanity. You are constantly reminded of life. Although human life is scarce it is obvious that yours is but one journey among countless others. Every person you meet, every location you traverse and even your own characters interactions tell unique stories of the individuals who exist and have existed in this world. Every enemy you meet may have been a friend had the circumstance of survival not been so immediate. Even the infected who exist as horrible deformations in various stages of decay were once regular human beings. They are horrific reflections of ourselves. Reality is grim.

 

Ultimately this is where TLOU really shines. In the depth of the characters. It is their triumphs in human spirit, their ability to overcome constant barrages of negativity and looming hopelessness. How the characters still find ways to have moments of true levity. They remain brave and vigilant. In a world where existing means endlessly enduring harsh savagery from man and monster, Ellie and Joel desperately struggle to retain and define their own humanity while constantly being asked to compromise that definition.

 

The tale of Ellie and Joel has struck a chord within the gaming community. It is interesting to listen to others talk about their experiences with TLOU as many people speak with an air of reverence for the title. I personally play online occasionally with someone who was so taken by the game and specifically the character of Ellie that they actually created an entirely new PSN account to reflect their appreciation of the game and that character. I know he is not the only one to do this for TLOU and he is definitely not the first person to make a new profile for a game but when you discuss the game with fans like him you would swear that Ellie and Joel were real.

 

We will have to wait and see if TLOU reaches the level of video game mythos that games like Final Fantasy 7 have reached. For those of us who were touched by this epic that really shouldn’t matter, like a good book the story of Ellie and Joel will always be one of endearment. A tale to be kept pridefully on the wall among other greats. It may or may not live on with the kind of high recognition other games have received over the years but it will live on with high regard to all those who connected with Ellie and Joel forever. The fact is a game like TLOU is proof positive that video games truly are a medium unlike any other. As in all media video games have the ability to touch peoples lives in profound ways.

 

Though its only been a little over 6 months since the release of TLOU the roots of a legacy have been planted in fans around the world. Their word of mouth will help the roots spread to new fans. With an all new prequel DLC rumored for a U.S. release on Feb. 14th its safe to say that TLOU isn’t fading from the public eye anytime soon. Given the completeness of the overall story arc it will be interesting to see if a sequel does come to fruition and what it would be all about.

 

( Just off the top of my head real quick, I mean since your here anyway. Can you imagine how cool an MMO spinoff could be? Creating your own characters and weapons, making alliances with other real players all while scouring for resources and exploring more of the chaotic universe presented in The Last Of Us. It could even be possible for characters from the original game to make cameos occasionally. All well I can dream can’t I? )

 

See you in 17 years.

 

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

Follow Sonic Mercury on Twitter @SonicMercury and like our Facebook page Sonic Mercury

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Music Spotlight

Strap on your viking horns and join Pat on his review of the new Amon Amarth album “Deceiver of the Gods.” Pat gives an in depth look at “Viking Metal” as a whole and we find out the good the bad and the ugly for Amon Amarth’s newest offering. You can check out the review here. 

 

-Z3R0TH3RT33N

For more from Pat check out his YouTube Channel The GessNation or his Facebook page The Shred Shack

 

 

12 Days of X-Mas!

DAY 4
JINGLE ALL THE WAY

“Put that cookie down! NOW!”
I don’t care. I don’t care how stupid it is, I don’t care how the whole film basically hinges on one stupid premise and how Arnold has terrible comedic timing. I still find it really goddamned funny. And there’s only one thing that could have made this movie better, and that’s watching it with friends. Here’s the rule for maximum enjoyment of this movie: Take a drink every time Arnold screams, and they say the word “turbo”. And if you’re watching with Sean, be sure to have an extra one every time Jake Lloyd comes on screen. Because it’s bound to have a rage fueled “You Anakin Skywalking, Pod Racing Little prick”.

No it’s not the best Christmas movie. Hell, it’s not even the funniest Arnold movie. But once you get past the goofy faces, the stupid plot, and the little things that nobody seems to care about but me (Nobody notices that there’s a WORKING jetpack in this universe? Isn’t that like a world changing device, and they’re using it for a holiday parade in Minnesota?), it’s actually pretty damn funny. I guess if you’re so used to seeing Arnold in serious action roles, seeing him scream at toy store owners and run all over town to find an action figure may be a little hard to handle. But Arnie goes ALL OUT in this, more so than he’s done in any movie I’ve seen him in since. He plays a psychotic father surprisingly well, and you can tell he’s giving this his all, from his expressions to the little moments of actual acting. It’s surprising to see him so passionate about this when you consider that most of his career has been consisting of stonefaced catchphrase delivery, so when he has an opportunity to be funny, he usually is. And this has some really funny moments, from his fight with the Santas (one of which is The Big Show), to the greatest scene in cinema history: Arnold Schwarzenegger punching a reindeer in the face and then drinking with it.

The rest of the cast is… okay. Phil Hartman is channeling his inner Flanders as he is the absolute perfect neighbor, down to the cooking, decorating, and sexual advances towards married women. The line into psychosis is crossed a few times, like how he decides to hand out hot chocolate and let kids pet a LIVE REINDEER in his yard. I don’t care how much of an eccentric you are, and I love the holidays more than some people, but if you buy a reindeer for the sake of having it for one day in your yard, you are seriously demented. I really liked the chop shop filled with dirty Santas, I thought it was really funny having Jim Belushi run this workshop of black market toys and claim it was “for the children”. The timing of Arnold getting involved with them at the same time as the bust was a little contrived ut then again, the whole movie kind of was. I was surprised by how much on a recent viewing I liked Sinbad. I’ve seen Sinbad live on stage recently and he’s actually a lot funnier than people give him credit for, and in this movie he’s no different. He gives some pretty funny lines, and his character is involved in some scenes that I DEFINITELY didn’t get the joke in my first time watching it. I especially like when he explained how his wife has slept with everyone at the post office BUT him, and I also enjoyed the fantasy where Jake Lloyd was drinking from a whiskey bottle. You don’t see stuff like that in kids movies anymore! Not that I’m saying movies would be better if Anakin Skywalker got a little wasted on screen, but it certainly doesn’t hurt. Speaking of which he’s… he’s just as good here as he is in Episode 1. It’s no wonder this kid quit acting after only like 5 movies.

This film gets a lot of hate that it doesn’t deserve… as well as all that it does. I think it’s funny where it needs to be and does a good job sending a message when it has to. There’s some moments that could be cut out but then again, it’s a family movie so maybe I’m a little biased. It’s by no means a great film, but I’m never disappointed when I watch it. It’s got pretty much everything I’d expect it to be: It’s a Christmas movie starring an Austrian action hero looking for a doll. If you’re looking for anything closer to a classic than what you got, chances are you’re terrible at judging movies by their poster.

-Pat G

For more from Pat check out his YouTube Channel The GessNation or his Facebook page The Shred Shack

12 Days of X-Mas!

DAY 3
ARTHUR CHRISTMAS

“We Claus’s used to be the only men in the world who could fly, Arthur. It was a gift.”

This is a new one, but it’s really a great film. It’s an interesting take on the Santa Claus mythos, it’s damn charming, and most of all it’s really, REALLY funny.

I like the idea that Santa has a long line of descendants, not just one magical man. It’s a family thing, and that’s where the heart of the story is. Every Santa Claus is different and each of them is a great character in and of themselves. Arthur (played by an almost stomach-churningly energetic James McAvoy) is caring to the point of almost hurting himself. His brother Steve, however, is more concerned with being efficient and strategic, letting some people get hurt in the process (“Arthur, Christmas is not a time for emotion”. Jim Broadbent plays a great santa claus with a bad memory and a genuine innocence about him. There are times when he seems a bit lazy, but honestly i think it’s just because he’s tired of being Santa. He’s watched the world go by and technology get better and better, and he just can’t keep up with it. And it’s understandable that Santa would be a lot less high tech than the elves (who do most of the work anyway). Speaking of the elves, the little Scottish elf has one of the best voices for an animated character i’ve heard in a long time. My favorite character in the whole thing has got to be the grandfather. He’s one of the funniest characters in any christmas movie i’ve ever seen. Everything he says is absolutely amazing from the tale of when he was shot during christmas of WWII (“Lost 3 reindeer and the elf. Fell out of the sleigh over Lake Geneva, never saw him again”), to probably the most absurd line i’ve ever heard in a children’s film (“That’s impossible!” “They used to say it was impossible to teach women to read!”) And he may not have the most… noble of intentions, but he’s still the greatest character in my opinion, and he gives Arthur the opportunity to deliver the last present in the first place. You could actually argue that he’s the most important character in the movie.

 

The animation is great too. Every flying scene is well designed, and absolutely beautiful. The opening cinematic with the elves delivering presents is so well done and fun to watch. The animation was done by Aardman Animations, who are most well known for the Wallace and Gromit films, and one of my personal favorites in the past year, Pirates: Band of Misfits. The models are much crisper and free flowing than you’re used to seeing with their style, and it’s refreshing for a christmas film. It takes a lot of things we know about christmas and puts a fresh spin on it. I like the idea that Santa’s sleigh is actually an air command center with hundreds of thousands of workers and that santa himself only does like, three houses. I like that they referenced other country’s traditions, like specifying that German presents should go in the shoes. The plot point about the ship being mistaken for a spaceship is also a nice touch.

And i can’t say enough how funny this movie is. The fact that the grandsanta doesn’t know that there’s people who live in Toronto, the detour to Mexico and Cuba (I didn’t know it was the Cuban Missile Crisis! I almost started World War III!), the bickering between Santa and Steve (This is about that pool table, isn’t it! You should have written to me!), and the elves all have funny moments too. My favorites are the crazy old elf warning everyone about 1816 when Santa was spotted, and how when every Santa goes to look for Arthur, the elves freak out and put the north pole into meltdown. But for every funny moment, there’s also a very caring one. You genuinely feel for Arthur as all he wants to do is help one little girl on Christmas. The scenes with the current Santa are also nice because you get a feel that he doesn’t want to leave his job but knows he just can’t keep up with it anymore. It’s also got a great ending with a lot of emotion for all the Santas at once.

 

This movie didn’t make a lot at the box office, and that’s a shame, because it’s really a nice picture with a lot of heart. It’s funny, it’s full of great entertaining animation, and it’s a pretty damn good story for the holidays. Not all the things i watch this month are all touchy-feely, but this one i hope becomes a classic in days to come. The next one will be more in my… age range. But dammit, this is great. So in the words of the Santa computer, “CHRISTMAS ACCOMPLISHED. COMMENCE DECKING HALLS.”

-Pat G

For more from Pat check out his YouTube Channel The GessNation or his Facebook page The Shred Shack

 

12 Days of X-Mas!

DAY 2
A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1984)

“Christmas comes but once a year, sir..”
“A poor excuse for picking a man’s pocket every 25th of December.”

A Christmas Carol is probably my favorite stage play, probably my favorite Christmas story in general, and I’ve seen A LOT of different versions of it. I recently saw the Jim Carrey version and there were parts of it that were absolutely brilliant. I always love the Muppets Christmas Carol, and Michael Caine plays a great Scrooge. But my favorite combination of everything, from the atmosphere to the acting to the truth to the original story, is definitely the 1984 television production starring the absolute man himself, George C Scott.

Scott plays probably the best Scrooge in my opinion. His absolute cold demeanor in the film is so genuine, and there are even lines where he seems to enjoy being so greedy. His face lights up when he basically robs a few men out of a few hundred dollars on a deal at the exchange. When delivering the classic “boiled in his own pudding” line, he’s actually laughing! What the hell man? But the part of Scrooge, as you should know, extends to a lot more than just being a curmudgeon for half of the film and then being happy about life. You need to see a genuine change in the character throughout the film, a visible understanding for the human condition by the time the last spirit gets to him. And that’s what you see in this version more so than any others. Scott plays an undoubtable bastard for the first part of the film, to the point where you can’t wait for the spirits to show up and knock some sense into him. But the thing is that really shows how great this Scrooge is being played are his reactions to each of the spirits. They are perfect. Christmas Past makes him sad that he’s let Christmas, and his family and loved ones for that matter, out of his mind. Present makes him feel that he should be more charitable to the people around him, from his employees to the homeless he called “idle people” earlier in the film. And then there’s Future which gives him perspective that even with all his money, nobody will remember him in the next generations and he has in fact ruined families. That’s what makes a good interpretation, and that is what makes this version shine. You see the change in him with every spirit, and the look of him happily getting ready to go out into the world on Christmas Day is just fantastic. You truly believe that this man is changed for the better.

The rest of the actors are great too. Frank Finlay is my other favorite part of this film, and his portrayal of Jacob Marley is the version that sticks out the most in my mind. Everything about his performance from the cold dead stare, to the rag he uses to keep his jaw shut until he has something poignant to say, to the powerful, foreboding voice. It’s just awesome. Even when he screams to prove that he’s a real ghost, it’s actually pretty damn scary. The Cratchit family is good too, but this needs to be said… THE TINY TIM IN THIS FILM IS HORRIFYING! I mean Christ on sale, he’s the scariest child I’ve seen outside of the Village of the Damned! The pale face, the sunken in eyes, the robotic tone of his voice, the Ghost of Christmas Future has NOTHING on this kid! The spirits are everything you’d expect them to be. Past is a brightly glowing woman with a very serious tone. Present is a very loud, booming man with a very sarcastic tone (It’s even more amazing when you realize that it’s the lead from The Wicker Man. I keep expecting Scrooge to see a sight that makes him say “Oh Dear God! Oh Jesus Christ!”). And future is… Death, pretty much. I’ve seen a lot of versions of the story where Future is portrayed by a woman in red, or someone with a scarred face, but it’s a lot more impactful when the spirit is a faceless spectre of death. In fact for most of his part, you don’t see him at all. Just his shadow. And it’s a lot more powerful than just some guy in a robe.

All in all, this is an amazing story and even if you’ve never seen A Christmas Carol, that’s the best thing about it. Every single interpretation is self contained, powerful, and memorable in some way. So as that creepy, dead eyed child says against all of our wishes, “God Bless Us, Everyone!”

 

 

-Pat G

For more from Pat check out his YouTube Channel The GessNation or his Facebook page The Shred Shack

12 Days of X-Mas!

DAY 1 MST3K: SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS “We’ve never disappointed the kids yet… (Except the poor ones!)” I don’t care who you are or what your sense of humor is, THIS should be a part of everybody’s Christmas schedule. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is one of my favorite shows, and I can’t thank them enough for introducing me to, and ripping apart mercilessly, the horrid 1964 film “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”. The movie is about Santa Claus being abducted by aliens because… hey, Santa is freakin’ boss. And since Mars does not have anything like Santa Claus, they decide to take ours. And with the help of two kids caught in the middle of everything, Santa… wins? Makes it home for a Black Tooth Grin before going off on the sled? I’m honestly not sure. It’s kind of weird and stupid, but god damn it I watch it every year. The music in the film is terrible, the acting is wooden, and the story is beyond ridiculous (even for a Santa Claus story). Which is what makes the riffing by Joel Hodgson, Crow and Tom Servo that much better. This is absolutely one of my favorite episodes of MST3K (along with Pod People and Final Sacrifice) and it’s one of those shows where I think almost every line added by the three riffers is absolutely gold. Everything from Santa’s first appearance being interviewed by a television crew (Get the Hell out of my shop!) to the outrageous porn staches on the “aliens” (We’re leaving tonight. Pack your other mustache), to where Santa is passionately telling the two children about his tour in ‘Nam, I laugh my ass off every time. “Worst. Idea. Ever.” [pause] “Let’s do it.”’s also this episode that got me to appreciate the show that much more, and I support the current projects of MST3K’s cast and crew in pretty much everything they do now (Rifftrax more than Cinematic Titanic, but still). This 12 Days of Xmas list I have will be mostly movies that I genuinely ENJOY watching, but with the riffing in between the lines of this awful film, there’s few things I love watching more around this time of year. And as usual I’d like to wish everybody to have more than just a Merry Christmas. Have a Very Patrick Swayze Christmas everyone!!

 

-Pat G

For more from Pat check out his YouTube Channel The GessNation